The Boyfriend Hunt: A little trip

I love airports.

I love the feeling of going somewhere new. 

I love the different people streaming in through with their oversized handbags and expensive luggage. 

I love the shopping for chocolate and magazines, with the liquor and cigar store next door. 

I love handing over my passport for them to stamp and signal me through. Even the harassment you get when they ask you to remove your shoes and take your mousse because it was a liquid, even though you thought it was foam (it can happen to anyone). 

I just love the feel of airports. Its a starting point, a launch into a different place. A different journey. 

My parents were always big on traveling. We've been to countless places in Europe over Summer and Winter breaks. 

I travel alone now but I still havent lost my love for airports. In fact, I think it has probably quadrupled thanks to the dinky little college town I live in. 

Also, something really great about airports is you can have such a short affair with the lovely European boys that travel in and out of this airport. 

Oh yummy

trust me. For those of you looking for quick fun

just book a ticket and sit at the airport for as long as possible.

Creepy? Slightly

Fun? Extremely.

               

             Until then lovers,

                  The boyhuntress

The Boyfriend Hunt: Random Boyhunt Update

My neighbors are having sex. I heard them very clearly through the bathroom walls. 

grreeatttt. 

It made peeing awkward.

until later lovers,

    The Boyhuntress

The Boyfriend Hunt: Simply Sorry, you’re just not the one

"I dont know what he's thinking, but I would be so psyched if we just dated forever" -Kelly Kapoor (The Office U.S)

Alright, so I get the saying beggers can’t be choosers, but honestly, we don’t have to be losers either. We have the right to be slightly picky.

Now I’m about to delve into a situation of mine that recently occurred. And by recently, I’m hinting at this past weekend. And Oh, what a weekend it was!

See, my friend T and I had decided to take a break from this partying hard and always lifestyle we’d acquired since coming to university. We had decided on an all girls weekend, this includes: shopping, restaurants, nauseating chick-flick with the dumb as rock hunk we can drool over. Check, check and check.

However, things did not end up going as planned. At all.

It started out nicely, our trip to the mall was eventful enough. Four hours of eventful. However, the bus ride back I felt like I boarded Noah’s Arc (minus the male counterpart). It was packed and I’m pretty sure we tipped slightly during one of the turns. The smell of sweat mixed with the ever-so-unsubtle smell of alcohol. I happened to mention this out loud,

“Really people? On a bus? This is public transportation, not your in-between party short-stop”

The tiny elderly woman next to me, clinging to the pole for dear life, looked up to me and said,

“Yes, I know, but don’t worry, next time I’ll bring a bigger flask to share”

Oh the many other stories I have to share of my tales of trauma on public transportation. Never take a bus from Best Buy back to campus alone. Drunk men will nudge you and point to other women’s “big ol’ titties” as he so classily put it.

Anyways, enough with the rambling.

So we rented the movie It’s a Boy Girl Thing and popped it in. I changed out of any glamorous articles of clothing into a pair of shorts and sweater, with my hair piled on top of my head, resembling a much older Pebbles (from the Flintstones).

We thought it would be a good idea to invite over A, a foreign exchange student from Spain, who although adorable, he has definitely been placed in the “just friends” category.

Cute face for sure, just lacking confidence and too lanky. Take note boys, this will get you far and beyond.

A arrives drunk. Throws up on my blanket. Throws up in my bathroom. Throws up in T’s bathroom. The goes on to declare his crush on me by spelling out my name. No, don’t worry folks, he didn’t spell it out in his own piss, but a Spanish accent. 

I laughed it off and helped drop him off home. Such a shame, because his friend M is quite the charmer, definitely no place for him in the “Just Friends” category if you know what I mean ;).

More later,

X

Sophie

The Boyfriend Hunt: Random Boy Huntress Fact #1

I read post secret every Sunday. It makes me believe that people are beautiful.

The Boyfriend Hunt: Other People Who’ve Successfully Hunted

"blahblahblahblahblah...."- C

Its not that I’m not happy she’s found this golden guy she cant stop talking about. Its just the fact that she won’t stop talking about it.

So C has been hooking up with this guy for around a month now and the relationship is definitely developing. I mean, he’s a real sweetheart to be honest, and she got lucky. But honey, please do not expand on the details of how he brushes his teeth in a circular motion, which is different than the upper teeth then lower teeth routine you use. (side note: do not rag on circular motion brushing)

I feel like every time we sit and talk there is no question like,  “Hey Sophie, how’s that guy that you were checking out yesterday morning?” or “Oh wow, how was your get together with whatshisface?”

Yes, I understand, seeing as I do not have much of a love life, I probably won’t have much to say in that department.

However, that does not mean you can tirade on about how your boyfriend wakes up at 12:00 a.m and how your morning routine clashes.

I simply do not care.

Understand this ladies, when with male, do not harass other females with small, miniscule details about his appetite or toilet habits. Save that conversation for when we are all married, bored and have nothing else to talk about. Maybe we can compare even?

Until then, shut up.

           The Huntress

P.S: oh the things I will rag about to her when I get a boyfriend. “Hey C, you’ll never believe what _________ did with his pencil yesterday…he ties his shoelaces with the whole bunny thing…he writes in cursive….he shaves every other day…he likes to pee while sitting on the toilet…” 

The Boyfriend Hunt: The Boy with the Secret in His Smirk

                   

              

I threw these in for those of you who don't know what a smirk is, Jake 

Gyllenhall does it just too well

Anyways,

About a month ago I was in the elevator of our building, on my

 way down from the tip of the tower I like to call the 15^th floor. I was relentless and tired and ready for at least an hour cramming food into my face in our downstairs dining hall. I let out a loud and obvious sigh when the elevator stopped to accommodate those on the 12^th floor as well.

However in walks a tall lad with his friend also looking forward to a

 fine dining experience downstairs.

I take a few peeks at tall guy throughout the journey to the 6^th floor. Not too bad.

The elevator allows more people to join us we make our way downstairs. Tall guy cracks a clichéd, witty joke and turns to me for a reaction. I arch my eyebrow and give him a smug smile and then say, “Is that the best you can do?”. He smiles at me as we exit.

The next time I see him is on the elevator as well. Its late and he’s heading up with two cups of pink juice. He laughs with his friends and then turns to me and says, “my drink matches your shirt”

I nod and say cleverly, “Yes, it does”

He smiles and gets off at a floor a few below mine.

Twice now I have passed him on the way to class. Each time I see him, we share a small smirk. A bit of an inside joke between the two of us detailing our elevator adventures.

Its funny because I don’t even know his name,

             The Huntress

PS: I just saw him over an hour ago. The smirk was still there. 

George Clooney: classy, and ages like fine wine, with a smirk that defines sexy. I had to throw him in there, you understand. 

The Boyfriend Hunt: The Primative Mating Dance

Or as society calls it: grinding

G' Morning lovers,

Yes, as I’ve recently discovered, coming into America, their cultural dance of choice is the Grind.

What is this Grind?

Well, simple, really. It’s the process of the male coming up from behind a female during a tribal get-together. The male places his hands dominantly on the female’s hips and presses her hips with his, moving them together in sync. The male may try to run his hands to more secure territories, and it is up to the female of the tribe to accept or reject his offer of mating.

Alright, alright, I’ll end with all this Natural Geographic bullshit and get straight to the point.

I do not like grinding.

Why? Its sexy, steamy, and hot, and wild, blah blah blah

Yes, but its also a stranger who you’ve never spoken to, coming up behind where you cannot even tell if they are  male and grabbing yours hips, almost thrusting their pelvises on to your anus.

On few occasions, the sweeter ones will ask before slightly molesting you with their hips and hands.

Since when did sex with your clothes on become the new thing? When did creativity and the slight tease of an intimate dance get thrown out the window and replaced by almost-sexual intercourse?

All of a sudden I’m supposed to smile and say ‘oh she’s a good dancer’ when I see a girl who’s leg has been wrapped around a guy’s waist, tackling him to the wall with her love handles?

I wish I can dry hump like that. Oh yeah.

for kicks, I'm throwing in this lovely picture I googled of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise doing the Grind. 

Let me make clear that this is the older and less 'aggressive' version of the dance. However, I must include that the tagline for this photo was: "Having a 'Grind' old time"

Anyways,

The reason this rant is going into my boyfriend hunt journal is because, honestly, what kind of mate are you promised by accepting this ritual, tedious dance? Probably one that won’t stay past 8:00 a.m.

    Realize that drunken faux-sex dance will not lead to happily ever after.

Till whenever,

            The Huntress